Why Survivors Remain in Abusive Relationships

One of the most frustrating and disheartening aspects of the Ray Rice domestic violence situation is the media and individuals on social media asking Janay Rice, "Why don't you just leave?" Unfortunately, this type of questioning and blaming domestic violence survivors happens all the time.

Below are some reasons why survivors remain in abusive relationships. Usually there is not one specific reason, but a combination. Reasons often include:

·        Fear that leaving will precipitate even more violent incidents of abuse directed toward themselves or their children;

·        Emotional dependency on the relationship, accompanied by feelings of low self-esteem and self-blame;

·        Lack of financial resources and employment income necessary to establish and maintain an independent household;

·        Concern about the effects of separation or divorce on the children (i.e., a “broken” home will jeopardize the children’s future);

·        Concern about the loss of economic security and benefits, such as retirement income and health insurance;

·        Feelings of love toward the abusive partner, coupled with the hopes that the relationship will improve and the violence will cease;

·        Denial of the potential for severe abuse, rationalizations and excuses for the abuser’s behavior, as well as the inability to assess accurately the risk of the situation.

(Adapted from C.K. Ragan).

Statement from CEO Judy Kahan on the Ray Rice Domestic Violence Situation

It’s been impossible to avoid the Ray Rice domestic violence story.  My deepest sympathy goes out to Janay Rice and all people affected by domestic abuse.

One out of four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime, making it an issue we desperately need to talk about and work to end. I am grateful for the awareness such a story brings to the issue of domestic violence.

It is the Center Against Domestic Violence’s mission to end domestic violence in our communities. In the midst  of the spotlight the Ray Rice case shines on domestic violence, I want to highlight and remind you of one of the Center’s core beliefs: abuse is a learned behavior and, with education, all people can lead lives filled with healthy, meaningful relationships. This is why we field so many prevention and education programs.

Our Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) reaches 27,000 intermediate and high school students on 15 NYC public school campuses. Through workshops, individual and group counseling, and peer leadership training, RAPP works to stop teen dating violence now and prevent domestic violence in the future. The Center pilots Relationships Are Elementary, a healthy relationship education program for elementary school children. Focusing our efforts on younger children creates a better opportunity to break the cycle of violence. The earlier we reach students, from both violent and non violent homes, the better chance we have for laying the ground work for healthy relationships.

Let us concentrate on what we can do to prevent and stop domestic violence in the future. Everyone deserves a safe, violence-free life.  

Meet the Panelists of Transforming Lives Through the Arts

On Thursday, October 23rd, the Center will host its annual Domestic Violence Awareness breakfast. We're excited to welcome a diverse group of panelists who will discuss art's healing power for domestic violence survivors. Here's an introduction to our expert and inspiring panelists:

• Marcella Goheen wrote and starred in The Maria Project, an acclaimed, one woman, Off-Broadway play that tells the story of Maria Salazar, Goheen’s grandmother who was murdered by her grandfather. Ms. Goheen has since founded the Brooklyn-based Maria Project, whose mission is to dispel the myth, create awareness, and alleviate the shame around domestic violence and sexual assault. The Maria Project’s “Maria’s Voice Featuring Savion Glover” will begin its North America tour in October 2014.
   
• Ewa Grochowska is a potter/sculptor and domestic violence awareness activist, helping other survivors along their journey to build a life free from abuse. To accomplish this, she donates her time and supplies to provide art programs to children living in domestic violence shelters.
   
• Rachel Hass is a Licensed Social Worker and Play Group Therapist at Bank Street College of Education for the Center for Emotionally Responsive Practice, where she facilitates trauma-based interventions for children, teachers and families in early childhood centers throughout the city. Hass previously facilitated the Art Enrichment Program at the Center Against Domestic Violence.
   
• Earla Lloyd, LCSW, is Director at the Center’s Women’s Second Start shelter. Lloyd developed the shelter’s ExpressIt and Creative Movement program to help her residents heal from domestic violence and other traumas. The program has two components: ExpressIt movement pieces performed for shelter residents by staff and Creative Movement expressive sessions for shelter residents. Lloyd believes that movement is a key communication tool and a catalyst for healing.
   
• Terri Muuss (moderator)  is an actor, director, teacher, motivational speaker, life coach and social worker who specializes in the use of the arts as a healing mechanism for trauma survivors. She teaches a course at Rutgers University to social workers entitled Youth Development Through the Written Arts and her poetry has appeared in numerous journals and anthologies. Her poetic memoir Over Exposed (JB Stillwater, 2013) was nominated for a Pushcart Prize and her one-woman show Anatomy of a Doll  was named the “Best Theatre: Critics’ Pick of the Week” by the New York Daily News and has been performed throughout the US and Canada since 1998. www.terrimuuss.com

Click here for more information and to purchase tickets to the breakfast.


We hope to see you there!

We're Out to Get $100,000 to End Domestic Violence

Announcing CADV's Participation in Allstate's Purple Purse Challenge

We're super excited to let you know that we're part of The Allstate Foundation Purple Purse Challenge, a fundraising campaign to end domestic violence. 

Allstate will donate $500,000 to ignite public awareness and fundraising for charities benefiting domestic violence survivors. The charity that raises the most throughout the Challenge will get a $100,000 donation; second place gets $75,000; third $50,000; fourth $25,000; and 5th-10th $10,000 each. We're out to raise as much money as possible for our cause so we can win the $100,000 grand prize donation. 

We definitely need your help. We'll send emails throughout the Challenge, asking for you to give. Every donation makes a difference, no matter how small. 

To help now, please Click Here and give whatever you can. 

If you want to go one step further, Go Here and click 'Fundraise for This Campaign.' In seconds, you'll have your own fundraiser that you can share with all of your family and friends so that you can raise money for our cause too. 

Please email CrowdRise at PurplePurse@CrowdRise.com if you have any questions at all and they'll help solve everything.

Thanks so much for your support.  

Throwback Thursday: Save RAPP Rally 2013

CADV's Teen Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) has been helping teens for over 13 years. In 2013, for the fourth year in a row, Mayor Bloomberg has proposed cutting all funding for RAPP—one of the nation’s most successful school-based domestic violence prevention and anti-bullying programs. RAPP students and supporters showed their solidarity with the program in a rally outside City Hall.

See more photos from this and other RAPP rallies at our Facebook page.

CADV staff are excited to join RAPP students in front of City Hall.

 

 

"Young people are responsible for all change. I came out [of my office] because I heard you -- thank you for disrupting the City Council." - Councilmember Letitia James

RAPP peer leadership program graduate Denisha explains how RAPP opened doors for her. 96% of RAPP peer leaders go on to college.

Tickets Now On Sale

A limited number of Early Bird tickets are available through September 23rd.

Click here to purchase tickets, 10 seat tables, or become a sponsor. 

Learn more about our event and panelists.

We hope to see you there!

Save the Date - More Info to Come!