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Why Survivors Remain in Abusive Relationships

One of the most frustrating and disheartening aspects of the Ray Rice domestic violence situation is the media and individuals on social media asking Janay Rice, "Why don't you just leave?" Unfortunately, this type of questioning and blaming domestic violence survivors happens all the time.

Below are some reasons why survivors remain in abusive relationships. Usually there is not one specific reason, but a combination. Reasons often include:

·        Fear that leaving will precipitate even more violent incidents of abuse directed toward themselves or their children;

·        Emotional dependency on the relationship, accompanied by feelings of low self-esteem and self-blame;

·        Lack of financial resources and employment income necessary to establish and maintain an independent household;

·        Concern about the effects of separation or divorce on the children (i.e., a “broken” home will jeopardize the children’s future);

·        Concern about the loss of economic security and benefits, such as retirement income and health insurance;

·        Feelings of love toward the abusive partner, coupled with the hopes that the relationship will improve and the violence will cease;

·        Denial of the potential for severe abuse, rationalizations and excuses for the abuser’s behavior, as well as the inability to assess accurately the risk of the situation.

(Adapted from C.K. Ragan).