RAPP Teaches Teens About Healthy Relationships

Ending the cycle of violence begins with education and awareness. We are proud of our role as one of the first and the largest providers of teen relationship violence prevention services in New York City. Our RAPP – Relationship Abuse Prevention Program - teaches thousands of high school students NOT ONLY what constitutes consent - but how to have a healthy relationship. In the past decade and a half, the Center has designed, developed and implemented school-based teen relationship abuse prevention programs that have reached more than a million students with the message that healthy, equal, and consensual relationships are necessary for a hopeful future.

Teenagers involved in relationship abuse have a difficult time learning academic subjects. Girls experiencing relationship abuse feel self-conscious and afraid, do not want to go to school, and find it difficult to study.

[1]  Victims of teen relationship abuse often exhibit harmful behaviors, such as using alcohol, tobacco or drugs; becoming pregnant, and attempting suicide.

[2]  Adolescents who harm their dating partners are more aggressive and more depressed than their peers.

[3] The rise of social media has only exacerbated the effects of teen relationship abuse.

In RAPP, students learn how to identify what it means to have healthy relationships. RAPP stresses the importance of setting strong boundaries, and being able to assertively say how something makes a person feel. Our students are taught abusive relationships are about power and control; and, about the different types of abuse which are emotional, verbal, and physical. They can recognize abuse within a relationship, and know what healthy relationships looks like.

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[1] Lipson, J. (Ed.). (2001). Hostile hallways: bullying, teasing and sexual harassment in school. New York: AAUW Educational Foundation.

[2]  Silverman, J. G., Raj, A., Mucci, L. A., & Hathaway, J. E.  (2001). Dating violence against adolescent girls and associated substance use, unhealthy weight control, sexual risk behavior, pregnancy and suicidality. Journal of the American Medical Association, 286(5), 572-579.

[3] Centers for Disease Control. (2012). Understanding teen dating violence fact sheet. Retrieved from www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teen_dating_violence.html.

We're Halfway There!

Congratulations to our 2014 TCS NYC Marathon team for collectively raising over 50% of the team fundraising goal! They have 5 weeks left to raise the remaining 50% -- let's get to work!

Statement from CEO Judy Kahan on the Ray Rice Domestic Violence Situation

It’s been impossible to avoid the Ray Rice domestic violence story.  My deepest sympathy goes out to Janay Rice and all people affected by domestic abuse.

One out of four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime, making it an issue we desperately need to talk about and work to end. I am grateful for the awareness such a story brings to the issue of domestic violence.

It is the Center Against Domestic Violence’s mission to end domestic violence in our communities. In the midst  of the spotlight the Ray Rice case shines on domestic violence, I want to highlight and remind you of one of the Center’s core beliefs: abuse is a learned behavior and, with education, all people can lead lives filled with healthy, meaningful relationships. This is why we field so many prevention and education programs.

Our Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) reaches 27,000 intermediate and high school students on 15 NYC public school campuses. Through workshops, individual and group counseling, and peer leadership training, RAPP works to stop teen dating violence now and prevent domestic violence in the future. The Center pilots Relationships Are Elementary, a healthy relationship education program for elementary school children. Focusing our efforts on younger children creates a better opportunity to break the cycle of violence. The earlier we reach students, from both violent and non violent homes, the better chance we have for laying the ground work for healthy relationships.

Let us concentrate on what we can do to prevent and stop domestic violence in the future. Everyone deserves a safe, violence-free life.  

College Sexual Assault Rally

On Monday, May 12, the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault joined NYC Public Advocate Hon. Letitia James for a press conference, which addressed the mishandling of sexual assault cases at 55 colleges and universities nationwide. Citizens and officials, including CADV CEO Judith Kahan, supported James as she called for a few important changes:

- The NYPD must establish a department liaison to higher education campuses within NYC to improve response to sexual assault.

- All colleges and universities must report the number and nature of sexual assaults on their campus each month.

- All colleges and universities must work with a local rape crisis center to ensure that victims have access to care and resources.

Mary Haviland, Executive director of the Alliance Against Sexual Assault, stated before the rally:

"I am heartened to see more attention and resources go to this issue. I applaud the Public Advocate for taking this issue seriously and calling for concrete improvements in assistance for students who suffer sexual violence."

See more photos of the sexual assault rally, as well as of other events, on our Facebook page.

Public Advocate Letitia James

Rally supporters holding signs

CADV CEO Judith Kahan

Mary Haviland, Executive Director of NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault

Why We Ride: Relationships Are Elementary

On May 4th, the CADV Bike Tour team will ride a combined 400 miles through all 5 boroughs in the  TD Five Boro Bike Tour. For our team, this is more than just a bike tour -- each biker has committed to fundraise $1,000 for the Center's Relationships Are Elementary program.

Learn More about the team and support our bikers!

The Center believes that youth-based prevention programs are the solution to stop domestic violence in the future. Focusing our efforts on young children creates a better opportunity to break the cycle of violence.

The bike team is specifically fundraising for our Relationships are Elementary  program. RAE arms third, fourth, and fifth graders with the tools they need to avoid becoming victims or perpetrators of teen relationship abuse and bullying.  The earlier we reach students, from both violent and non-violent homes, the better chance we have for laying the groundwork for healthy relationships.




Thank you to our bikers, who each committed 40 miles and $1,000 to support this program!

Support our bikers and our programs here. 

A Teachable Moment This Thanksgiving

The Center Against Domestic Violence believes that violence is a learned response that can be stopped with early education.  One skill we teach students from third grade on up is how to be responsible bystanders.  A bystander is someone who is present at an event, but not involved, like a witness.  A responsible bystander knows what behavior is OK and what is not OK and is empowered to speak up or get help.  Young people armed with the tools to help their friends or acquaintances are less likely to become bullies, abusers or victims.  

This month has seen a sharp increase in conversations about bullying among the most unlikely group of people – young men between 18 and 30.  Why?  Because Miami Dolphin Offensive Tackle Jonathan Martin left the team after his teammate Richie Incognito sent him threatening texts and emails.  Exposing this behavior has made big news.  Everyone has an opinion: that a 312 pound football player should have stood up for himself; that the team should have stood up for Martin; that Incognito’s threatening was just kidding and regular locker room horseplay; that Martin should get tougher; or that Incognito should never have made threats and racial slurs.  

Martin could not have been new to locker room jests; he has been playing great football since he was a child and he was regarded as the No. 3 tackle prospect in the 2012 NFL Draft.  At Stanford he was All Pacific-10 and an All American pick who earned All-American honors.  He knew about and understood locker room hijinks – and when someone was kidding or not.

I doubt that Martin was new to racial slurs, having grown up in a world where, unlike sports, African-Americans were a distinct minority.  He was the first person in three generations of his family not to attend Harvard; he was prep school educated and majored in Classics at Stanford.  He knew about racial stereotyping and whether someone was kidding or not.

So, all that and Incognito’s shocking and obscene texts and clips that have become public knowledge aside, what can we learn from this incident, which is just being investigated by the National Football League this week?

• We can learn about the power of the bystander.  If the Dolphins had said, “Hey, cut it out, that’s not OK,” chances are Martin’s hazing would have taken on a different character. Incognito is scary, but so is a locker room full of gridiron warriors.
• We can learn about asserting ourselves.  This is not the only instance of workplace bullying, just one with immensely larger characters.  Bullying in the workplace needs to be reported before it can be stopped. 
• Finally, if you listen to all the talk about how Martin should have “manned up,” we can learn how far we have to go to eradicate gender stereotypes.  Gender stereotypes hurt us all. 

This is a supremely teachable moment.  Take time around the Thanksgiving table to ask what people think about the Incognito/Martin situation and how situations like this should be handled in sports, in the workplace, in life. 

Best wishes for a great holiday from the Center Against Domestic Violence.  We are thankful for your support.

A Breakfast Conversation with Emily Bazelon

Thank you to everyone who attended and supported our Fall Breakfast 2013. Your contributions support the Center’s life changing work. It was a great morning and we hope to see you again soon! 

Missed the Breakfast?

Listen to the audio recording here.

Click here for more pictures.

Special Thanks

Emily Bazelon, author of Sticks and Stones and senior editor at Slate, for engaging us with her important research and conclusions;

Dr. Liz Lasky, Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) Coordinator for the Center, for leading the poignant disussion;

Devon Arnold, RAPP Peer Leader, for bravely sharing his story about how RAPP helped him overcome years of bullying;

Andrea Cruz and Amber Perez, RAPP Graduates and Stuckey Scholarship Winners, for inspiring the entire room.

Meet Author Emily Bazelon - October 18th

Fall is a time for beginnings.  It’s back to school time for the Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP), for Relationships are Elementary and for the 150 children in Center Against Domestic Violence shelters.  These programs can transform children and teens from victims to survivors to peer advocates; they teach young people skills to stand against bullying and teen relationship abuse by becoming responsible bystanders.

Two years ago, the Center’s Fall Breakfast at the Harvard Club looked at Bullying in the 21st Century.  We hosted a panel that included a RAPP social worker, a DA at the intersection of cyber-crimes and harassment, a survivor whose landmark case forced Google to release her harasser’s email address; a human rights advocate; and an intermediate school principal.  Everyone at the table agreed that bullying took a great toll on bystanders, and saw these witnesses as key to stopping bullying.  Acting to end the abuse they witnessed stopped bystanders from feeling powerless and ended their own victimization.

This fall we are taking a look at bullying through yet another lens.  On October 18 we will host a breakfast conversation with Slate senior editor and New York Times Magazine contributor Emily Bazelon.  Her highly acclaimed book, “Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy” explores teen bullying, what it is and what it isn’t, and how the rise of the Internet and social media make the experience more challenging.   She charts the experiences of bullied children and describes successful anti-bullying measures.  In “Sticks and Stones” Ms. Bazelon, a lawyer who is a Senior Research Scholar and Truman Capote Fellow for Creative Writing and Law at Yale Law School, reviews jurisprudence on bullying, and examines both the virtues and the pitfalls of treating bullying as a crime.  “Sticks and Stones” describes what parents can achieve, what schools can achieve, and what may come of the shifting power differential among parents, schools and social agencies.   She will be in conversation with a Center RAPP Coordinator, a veteran social worker stationed on a high school campus to  teach teens how to have healthy relationships.

Please join us on October 18 at the Harvard Club of NYC for breakfast and great conversation.  Purchase tickets here.

Fall Breakfast 2012: Preventing College Dating and Sexual Violence

The Center Against Domestic Violence Presents

Building Healthy Relationships: Preventing Sexual Assault & Dating Violence on Campus

Audrey Meredith & Kyle Rosenbaum – Event Co-Chairs

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

8:00 am- 9:30 am

The Harvard Club

35 West 44th Street, NY

Join us for breakfast.

Hear from advocates dedicated to stopping sexual assault, harassment and dating violence on campus.  

Keynote Speaker 

Jovan Martinez

Former RAPP Peer Leader

Deborah M. Stuckey Family Scholarship Recipient

Junior -Virginia Commonwealth University

Moderator

Susan Xenarios

Director

St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Crime Victims Treatment Program

Panelists

Rhiannon Auriemma

Student Peer Health Advocate

The New School

Guarav Jashani

Coordinator, Men’s Peer Education Program

Columbia University

Emily May

Executive Director

Hollaback!