"A Night on Broadway" - A Community Support Event

Wellington C. Mepham High School Skull and Bones Drama Club will be performing A Night on Broadway on Friday, September 18, 2015 at 7 PM.

Thank you so much for this great outpouring student support!!  

We are thrilled to be selected as Wellington C. Mepham High School Skull and Bones Drama Club’s charity of choice. All proceeds will go to the Center Against Domestic Violence.  Tickets can be purchased night of the event. 

The Mepham Skull and Bones Drama Club and for Thespian Troupe 7495, Mepham's chapter of the International Thespian Society recent productions include Auntie Mame, Pippin, and Into the Woods.

Join us for a night of good fun theatre. We hope to see you there!

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

This month, amidst chocolate hearts, flowers and love letters, we celebrated teen dating violence awareness month with waves of awareness campaigns spreading the same message - dating violence can happen in adolescent relationships.  President Obama declared February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, proclaiming, “Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust, and equality. Our commitment to these values demands that we stand up against dating abuse and all forms of intimate partner violence. During National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, we are called to act.” It is our responsibility to speak up and stop ignoring violence that happens daily.

Adolescence is a tough time.  Bullying through the internet and social media, maintaining good grades, and participating in equal, healthy relationships can affect teenagers.  Teen dating violence happens quite frequently ; in 2011, in New York City, 10.4% of male and female high school students reported being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend/girlfriend within the past year. (NYC High School Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 2011); 1 in 3 teens is affected by teen dating violence.

Campaigns spreading teen dating violence awareness are key to its prevention and elimination.   This Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, CADV RAPP students and Coordinators, shared why teen dating violence awareness is important, through different activities. We posted photos of cutout hearts proclaiming why we support teen dating violence awareness. RAPP students came to the Center’s main office to enjoy pizza while showing off their artistic talents decorating cloth squares that were sewn together into make a giant quilt of teen dating violence awareness. In workshops around the City, RAPP students adorned post-it notes with messages about teen dating violence and why they think violence needs to stop.

While RAPP students and Coordinators campaign to end teen dating violence all year round, designating a particular month to promote awareness helps spotlight the issue.  It is life changing for so many teens to tale the lessons of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and live them all year long.  

Why Survivors Remain in Abusive Relationships

One of the most frustrating and disheartening aspects of the Ray Rice domestic violence situation is the media and individuals on social media asking Janay Rice, "Why don't you just leave?" Unfortunately, this type of questioning and blaming domestic violence survivors happens all the time.

Below are some reasons why survivors remain in abusive relationships. Usually there is not one specific reason, but a combination. Reasons often include:

·        Fear that leaving will precipitate even more violent incidents of abuse directed toward themselves or their children;

·        Emotional dependency on the relationship, accompanied by feelings of low self-esteem and self-blame;

·        Lack of financial resources and employment income necessary to establish and maintain an independent household;

·        Concern about the effects of separation or divorce on the children (i.e., a “broken” home will jeopardize the children’s future);

·        Concern about the loss of economic security and benefits, such as retirement income and health insurance;

·        Feelings of love toward the abusive partner, coupled with the hopes that the relationship will improve and the violence will cease;

·        Denial of the potential for severe abuse, rationalizations and excuses for the abuser’s behavior, as well as the inability to assess accurately the risk of the situation.

(Adapted from C.K. Ragan).

Tickets Now On Sale

A limited number of Early Bird tickets are available through September 23rd.

Click here to purchase tickets, 10 seat tables, or become a sponsor. 

Learn more about our event and panelists.

We hope to see you there!

Why We Run: Spanish Speaking Support Group

On March 16th, the CADV Half Marathon team will run a combined 65.5 miles through Manhattan in the  NYC Half. For our team, this is more than just a race -- each runner has committed to fundraise $1,500 for the Center's Survivor Advocacy and Community Based services.




Learn More about the team and support our runners!




Part of the funds raised will benefit the Center's Spanish Speaking Support Group, which serves Spanish speaking survivors of domestic violence. The women are in all different stages of rebuilding their lives: some used to live in one of our shelters, some are still living with a batterer, some are living on their own without having ever been to emergency shelter.




Most new participants are invited by a friend or acquaintance who attends or has attended the group. The group grows organically in the community through word of mouth recruitment by fellow survivors.




The two case managers who run the group encourage the women to integrate into their communities and to learn to independently negotiate their environments. At each meeting, the case managers run a workshop to teach skills that will empower the survivors to live independently and healthily. Workshop topics include budgeting, safety planning, safe housing, parenting skills, and women's health. There are also workshops on yoga, self case, and clothing design, to build self esteem and encourage emotional healing. Because many attendees are immigrants, the group covers topics pertaining specifically to immigrants, such as how to obtain a U Visa.




Many of the group members utilize the Center's other services. (These services, which include 1-on-1 counseling, safety planning, and referrals, are also supported by the Half Marathon team!) This holistic approach helps survivors become safe and independent.




The communal aspect of the support group is its most important feature. Some research indicates that the most useful tool for victims of domestic violence is the support group. The group experience allows individuals to see how the same patterns of power and control take place in all abusive relationships. This knowledge helps them to understand the dynamics of their abusive relationship more clearly. The group also reduces feelings of isolation and allows participants to develop supportive relationships with each other. Friendship building is encouraged at teach meeting.


We care deeply about this program and are so grateful to our runners for committing to help provide a space for survivor empowerment.

Support our runners and the Spanish Speaking Support Group here.

The Most Important Gift you can Give this Holiday Season

Give to safeguard families fleeing domestic violence.   Give to free our communities of relationship abuse and bullying. Give the Gift of Safety

For more than 35 years, the Center Against Domestic Violence has been working toward a society free from violence by transforming the lives of victims and raising awareness in our communities. Thank you for helping us end domestic violence. Donate

A Search for True Love

We closed Domestic Violence Awareness Month with Women’s Second Start domestic violence shelter celebrating the survivors they have served, and acknowledging staff and volunteers at a conference with former residents as the keynote speakers.  Here are some excerpts from one survivor's poem:

A Search for True Love

What is true love?

. . . Violence? Verbal Abuse? Physical and Mental Abuse? 

Having your self esteem . . . brought to nothing?

And then later on hearing the words, “Am sorry.” “I didn’t mean it.” “It won’t happen again.”

"Baby you know I love you."

Where do we find . . . true love?

. . . Our friends?  Family? Spouse?

And our abuser?

We may think that’s where true love is.

How do we find . . . true love?

. . . By first sitting down and evaluating ourselves.

Then we can stand strong and say, “I’m beautiful and I deserve better for myself.”

Luz's Story has a Happy Ending

In this season of hope and giving, I am cheered by the stories of the people we serve.  People – usually parents and usually women – come to the Center Against Domestic Violence for help at the lowest point of their lives.  They only reach out when domestic violence has threatened their lives or the lives of their children.  They leave the Center with renewed joy, skills and one step closer to a bright future.

The other day I received a gift from one of our longstanding Tuesday Morning Support Group members, a hand wrapped pen that said “Center Against DV”.  Our Spanish speaking Tuesday group has been meeting for over ten years with a regular attendance of 20 or so women.  We have seen support group infants grow up and become school aged and support group school aged children enter high school.  The Center is committed to be there as long as we are needed.

Luz* was referred to our support group by her friend Gloria*.  Since leaving her abusive boyfriend several years ago, Gloria had been coming to group.  Many of the issues participants face have as much to do with immigration as with the abuse they suffered.  The Center helped Gloria with her immigration problems, and now Gloria was helping her friend Luz.

When Luz’s husband sent for her and their two children to come join him in the United States, it seemed like a dream.  It was so difficult in Mexico, even with the remittances Miguel* sent every month.

The family settled in Sunset Park, and from the outside they seemed happy.  What no one in their church or the children’s school knew was that every night Miguel would abuse Luz.  First the abuse was verbal and emotional – he constantly told her she was worthless.  Then when she became pregnant, the abuse became sexual and physical.

Luz put up with Miguel for the sake of the children, but then, one night while the children were getting ready for bed, Luz caught Miguel peeping at their 12 year old daughter Susana* getting undressed.  When she confronted him, he beat her senseless and left the house.  Luz called the police and Miguel was arrested.

The Center Against Domestic Violence Crime Victims Program is helping Luz and the children rebuild their lives.  The children are in counseling and we have helped Luz and the two older children successfully apply for visas.

Now Luz and the children live together safely in Brooklyn.  Luz makes ends meet by creating and selling handcrafts.  She created my Center Against DV pen as her way of saying “thanks”.

I say “thanks”, as well.  Thanks to all of you for supporting the Center Against Domestic Violence as we change and grow to fulfill our mission – ending domestic violence in our communities.  Through prevention, intervention and education, the Center is working to create a world without violence.

Please help us end domestic violence by supporting our work today.

Thank you and happy holidays.

-- Judith Kahan, CEO

* All names changed to protect identities.