One of the most frustrating and disheartening aspects of the Ray Rice domestic violence situation is the media and individuals on social media asking Janay Rice, "Why don't you just leave?" Unfortunately, this type of questioning and blaming domestic violence survivors happens all the time.
Below are some reasons why survivors remain in abusive relationships. Usually there is not one specific reason, but a combination. Reasons often include:
·
Fear
that leaving will precipitate even more violent incidents of abuse directed
toward themselves or their children;
·
Emotional
dependency on the relationship, accompanied by feelings of low self-esteem and
self-blame;
·
Lack
of financial resources and employment income necessary to establish and
maintain an independent household;
·
Concern
about the effects of separation or divorce on the children (i.e., a “broken”
home will jeopardize the children’s future);
·
Concern
about the loss of economic security and benefits, such as retirement income and
health insurance;
·
Feelings
of love toward the abusive partner, coupled with the hopes that the
relationship will improve and the violence will cease;
·
Denial
of the potential for severe abuse, rationalizations and excuses for the
abuser’s behavior, as well as the inability to assess accurately the risk of
the situation.
(Adapted from C.K. Ragan).
