Did the President’s PSA at the Grammys have the Right Message?

The message at this year’s Grammys was loud and clear – stop violence against women. We watched as President Obama made his proclamation to end violence against women, and challenged artists to encourage their supporters to do the same. The President spoke the truth, 1 in 5 women will be victims of rape or attempted rape, and 1 in 4 women will face violence or abuse at the hands of an intimate partner.  He claimed violence against women is not OK, and launched the White House #Itsonus campaign – because in fact, it is on us all to stop the violence.  

In many songs and videos, violence against women is not only condoned but celebrated.  Following the President’s speech, Target aired a 3-minute music video ad of Imagine Dragons’ “Shot” about shooting everything they love. The President’s words were addressed to an audience that included Grammy nominees, Chris Brown, and R. Kelly.  What kind of message is being sent by saying we needed to stop the violence, while rewarding those personally involved with the violence. Violence against women is celebrated in many artists’ songs and videos. Songs and videos may demonstrate violence and the degradation of women, but these albums sell millions of downloads every day. When asking these artists to help stop the violence, what are we asking them to do?  

It is time to stop violence against women, and it is time to change the stigma associated with rape and abuse. Still assault against an intimate partner is not prosecuted as harshly as assault against another associate or a stranger.  Somehow we still see domestic violence as only a family problem, but violence against women is a social and a public health issue. The President is right that in one way #Itsonus, but in another way, it is on him and on every elected official. It is on us to keep up the pressure, to make sure the Violence Against Women Act is reauthorized next year, to make sure campuses receive needed fund to keep students safe from assault, and to make sure state and local laws support adequate shelter and permanent housing for survivors of domestic violence. It IS on us – AND our elected officials – AND on popular culture heroes like musicians and athletes - to change the conversation to help eliminate violence against women.

Why Survivors Remain in Abusive Relationships

One of the most frustrating and disheartening aspects of the Ray Rice domestic violence situation is the media and individuals on social media asking Janay Rice, "Why don't you just leave?" Unfortunately, this type of questioning and blaming domestic violence survivors happens all the time.

Below are some reasons why survivors remain in abusive relationships. Usually there is not one specific reason, but a combination. Reasons often include:

·        Fear that leaving will precipitate even more violent incidents of abuse directed toward themselves or their children;

·        Emotional dependency on the relationship, accompanied by feelings of low self-esteem and self-blame;

·        Lack of financial resources and employment income necessary to establish and maintain an independent household;

·        Concern about the effects of separation or divorce on the children (i.e., a “broken” home will jeopardize the children’s future);

·        Concern about the loss of economic security and benefits, such as retirement income and health insurance;

·        Feelings of love toward the abusive partner, coupled with the hopes that the relationship will improve and the violence will cease;

·        Denial of the potential for severe abuse, rationalizations and excuses for the abuser’s behavior, as well as the inability to assess accurately the risk of the situation.

(Adapted from C.K. Ragan).

From CEO Judy Kahan, on violence against women and the Santa Barbara killings

All our sympathy goes out to the families and loved ones of the victims killed senselessly in Santa Barbara this past weekend.

I have been searching my heart to find words to make sense of these killings. In his own words, Elliott Rogers – the killer - describes how seeing men, minority men especially, with white women made him mad. His hate speech was so frequent and virulent that he was known to groups that track hate speech, like the Southern Poverty Law Center. Rogers’ mother reported him as a risk to himself and society four weeks before the killings. UC Santa Barbara has such a history of crimes against women that young women rarely walk around campus alone.

There are issues of misogyny, mental illness, weapons ownership, a culture of violence, #YesAllWomen, male privilege - all mixed up in one hate filled life – the life of a man who saw the deaths of others as just retribution for being unpopular.

To make this crime an issue of the killer’s mental health does not help unless we are willing to tackle the difficult issue of mental health care in America. To hinge our actions on gun control may feel good, but half of the killer’s victims were killed with a knife, and although more than half our citizens favor stronger gun control, our elected officials don’t enact effective gun control legislation.  Taking on the culture’s views about women and violence? That is a large part of the Center Against Domestic Violence’s charge.

The Center Against Domestic Violence was founded on the principle that a woman – a person – should feel as safe in her home as she felt on the street. Our founders worked for legislation that made domestic violence and marital rape crimes in New York State and New York City. In recent times, we raised our institutional voice to support the Violence Against Women Act’s reinstatement, including its hate crime provisions.  

The Center believes that everyone has the right to a life free of violence; that domestic violence victims can transform their lives and become survivors; that violence is a learned behavior, and with education, all people can lead lives filled with healthy, meaningful relationships; and, finally, that the key to ending violence is to begin prevention programs at a young age. Our programs are based on these key beliefs and work together to accomplish our mission, ending domestic violence in our communities.

These programs, especially the school-based Relationship Abuse Prevention Program and Relationships Are Elementary, teach about healthy relationships by teaching about the worth and complexity of human beings. In an elementary school stopping fourth grade bullying, a high school organizing teens to end teen dating abuse, or a shelter giving a battered woman the tools to head her family, the Center affirms each human’s right to a life free of violence.

-Judith Kahan

CEO, Center Against Domestic Violence

College Sexual Assault Rally

On Monday, May 12, the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault joined NYC Public Advocate Hon. Letitia James for a press conference, which addressed the mishandling of sexual assault cases at 55 colleges and universities nationwide. Citizens and officials, including CADV CEO Judith Kahan, supported James as she called for a few important changes:

- The NYPD must establish a department liaison to higher education campuses within NYC to improve response to sexual assault.

- All colleges and universities must report the number and nature of sexual assaults on their campus each month.

- All colleges and universities must work with a local rape crisis center to ensure that victims have access to care and resources.

Mary Haviland, Executive director of the Alliance Against Sexual Assault, stated before the rally:

"I am heartened to see more attention and resources go to this issue. I applaud the Public Advocate for taking this issue seriously and calling for concrete improvements in assistance for students who suffer sexual violence."

See more photos of the sexual assault rally, as well as of other events, on our Facebook page.

Public Advocate Letitia James

Rally supporters holding signs

CADV CEO Judith Kahan

Mary Haviland, Executive Director of NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault

Shine the Light on Domestic Violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.The Center Against Domestic Violence was once again a sponsor of Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer’s impressive October 7 rally and light show, Shine the Light on Domestic Violence.

Times Square is sometimes called the crossroads of the world; what better place to light up some of the largest and brightest digital screens to bring awareness to domestic violence?

By turning landmarks around the city and state purple, Shine the Light on Domestic Violence, a statewide public awareness campaign, sparks discussion about this devastating problem that threatens the safety of too many New Yorkers.

Center staff, volunteers, and adult and teen participants stood shoulder to shoulder with other advocates as giant electronic billboards turned purple with messages of hope.  American Eagle, the Disney Store, the ABC Super Sign and many more told viewers about domestic violence, its impact and how to get help. Commissioner Yolanda Jimenez, the head of the NYC Office to Combat Domestic Violence, and playwright Eve Ensler spoke.

Click here for more photos.

Happy Anniversary, VAWA!

Vice President Joe Biden touted the success of the reauthorized Violence Against Women Act at an event celebrating its 19th anniversary on Thursday.

Biden said it's been "absolutely fascinating to see the ripple effect of this little old act we passed 19 years ago," to supporters, saying he's had the privilege of seeing the impact VAWA has had on other nations during his travels as vice president.

International Women's Day - Stop the Violence

Today marks International Women’s Day, the 102nd anniversary of this special day when the world over honors the political, economic and social achievements of women and renew its commitment to improving the lives of all women.

There is much to celebrate.  A century ago it was almost unheard of for a woman to own a business or become a professional.  A woman’s place was in the home or in the sweatshop.  Women in the United States had no vote.  Their property belonged to their husbands.  Now we are closer to gender equality than ever.  And, after a long struggle, we celebrate the President signing the Violence Against Women Act into law yesterday.

This year the United Nations has chosen “A Promise is a Promise:  A Time for Action to End Violence Against Women” as the theme for International Women’s Day.  Judith Kahan, CEO of the Center Against Domestic Violence said, “This is a day of great significance across the globe.  The work of the Center Against Domestic Violence began a deep commitment to improving the quality of women’s lives.  We join our allies around the world to celebrate women and rededicate our efforts to ending violence.” 

Violence against women is a global crisis that threatens women globally, regardless of country, economic status, ethnicity or age.  Here in the United States, the Centers for Disease Control found that one in five US women have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. The CDC estimates that domestic violence costs the US over $8.3 billion a year in medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity.  Last year, here in New York City, Police responded to 263,207 domestic violence incidents and City’s Domestic Violence Hotline advocates answered 108,131 calls; that’s more than 1,000 cries for help every day.

For more than 35 years, the Center Against Domestic Violence has been working toward a society free from violence by transforming the lives of victims and raising awareness in our communities.  CADV opened the first publicly-funded shelter in New York State and now operates three full-service shelters for victims and their children, offering childcare, job assistance, housing placement, counseling and other crucial services. Our groundbreaking education programs teach more than 27,000 young people each year how to prevent domestic violence and have healthy relationships. We also provide ongoing support for shelter residents, victim advocacy, and community outreach as part of our efforts to eliminate domestic violence.

Violence against women needs to end worldwide. The Center Against Domestic Violence is proud to be a local leader working to end violence against women.

CADV is 2012 V-Day Beneficiary

For the second year in a row, the Fourth Universalist Church on the Upper West Side has chosen CADV as their V-Day beneficiary. V-day is a worldwide movement to end violence against women and girls. Through V-Day campaigns, local volunteers and college students produce annual benefit performances of The Vagina Monologues to raise awareness and funds for anti-violence groups within their own communities.  Join us and the Fourth Universalist Church this year in two special events to prevent violence.

The Fourth Universalist Church will hold a cocktail party on February 13th featuring guest speaker Judy Norsigian, – a founding member of the Boston Women’s Health Book Collective, an organization best known for their perennial book, Our Bodies Our Selves.  Judy is an internationally recognized activist for Women’s Health Issues including reproductive freedom, midwifery, and sexually transmitted infections. The night begins at 6PM – there is no cover charge and there will be free hors d’ouevres!

Fourth Universalist Church
160 Central Park West
New York, NY 10023
Please RSVP here or contact Erica at ERotman@centeragainstdv.org for more details.

V-day celebrations will continue on March 23rd and 24th when the award-winning Vagina Monologues play will be performed at the Church.  Join us for a night of laughter, tears, and solidarity in the fight to end violence against women. While there are over 40 V-day events and performances this year in New York City, this is the only one to take place in a religious space.  Again, the Church’s address is 160 Central Park West  New York, NY 10023.

Please click here for tickets. This is an absolute don’t miss production!!