A Search for True Love

We closed Domestic Violence Awareness Month with Women’s Second Start domestic violence shelter celebrating the survivors they have served, and acknowledging staff and volunteers at a conference with former residents as the keynote speakers.  Here are some excerpts from one survivor's poem:

A Search for True Love

What is true love?

. . . Violence? Verbal Abuse? Physical and Mental Abuse? 

Having your self esteem . . . brought to nothing?

And then later on hearing the words, “Am sorry.” “I didn’t mean it.” “It won’t happen again.”

"Baby you know I love you."

Where do we find . . . true love?

. . . Our friends?  Family? Spouse?

And our abuser?

We may think that’s where true love is.

How do we find . . . true love?

. . . By first sitting down and evaluating ourselves.

Then we can stand strong and say, “I’m beautiful and I deserve better for myself.”

A Breakfast Conversation with Emily Bazelon

Thank you to everyone who attended and supported our Fall Breakfast 2013. Your contributions support the Center’s life changing work. It was a great morning and we hope to see you again soon! 

Missed the Breakfast?

Listen to the audio recording here.

Click here for more pictures.

Special Thanks

Emily Bazelon, author of Sticks and Stones and senior editor at Slate, for engaging us with her important research and conclusions;

Dr. Liz Lasky, Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) Coordinator for the Center, for leading the poignant disussion;

Devon Arnold, RAPP Peer Leader, for bravely sharing his story about how RAPP helped him overcome years of bullying;

Andrea Cruz and Amber Perez, RAPP Graduates and Stuckey Scholarship Winners, for inspiring the entire room.

Shine the Light on Domestic Violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.The Center Against Domestic Violence was once again a sponsor of Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer’s impressive October 7 rally and light show, Shine the Light on Domestic Violence.

Times Square is sometimes called the crossroads of the world; what better place to light up some of the largest and brightest digital screens to bring awareness to domestic violence?

By turning landmarks around the city and state purple, Shine the Light on Domestic Violence, a statewide public awareness campaign, sparks discussion about this devastating problem that threatens the safety of too many New Yorkers.

Center staff, volunteers, and adult and teen participants stood shoulder to shoulder with other advocates as giant electronic billboards turned purple with messages of hope.  American Eagle, the Disney Store, the ABC Super Sign and many more told viewers about domestic violence, its impact and how to get help. Commissioner Yolanda Jimenez, the head of the NYC Office to Combat Domestic Violence, and playwright Eve Ensler spoke.

Click here for more photos.

Happy Anniversary, VAWA!

Vice President Joe Biden touted the success of the reauthorized Violence Against Women Act at an event celebrating its 19th anniversary on Thursday.

Biden said it's been "absolutely fascinating to see the ripple effect of this little old act we passed 19 years ago," to supporters, saying he's had the privilege of seeing the impact VAWA has had on other nations during his travels as vice president.

Meet Author Emily Bazelon - October 18th

Fall is a time for beginnings.  It’s back to school time for the Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP), for Relationships are Elementary and for the 150 children in Center Against Domestic Violence shelters.  These programs can transform children and teens from victims to survivors to peer advocates; they teach young people skills to stand against bullying and teen relationship abuse by becoming responsible bystanders.

Two years ago, the Center’s Fall Breakfast at the Harvard Club looked at Bullying in the 21st Century.  We hosted a panel that included a RAPP social worker, a DA at the intersection of cyber-crimes and harassment, a survivor whose landmark case forced Google to release her harasser’s email address; a human rights advocate; and an intermediate school principal.  Everyone at the table agreed that bullying took a great toll on bystanders, and saw these witnesses as key to stopping bullying.  Acting to end the abuse they witnessed stopped bystanders from feeling powerless and ended their own victimization.

This fall we are taking a look at bullying through yet another lens.  On October 18 we will host a breakfast conversation with Slate senior editor and New York Times Magazine contributor Emily Bazelon.  Her highly acclaimed book, “Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy” explores teen bullying, what it is and what it isn’t, and how the rise of the Internet and social media make the experience more challenging.   She charts the experiences of bullied children and describes successful anti-bullying measures.  In “Sticks and Stones” Ms. Bazelon, a lawyer who is a Senior Research Scholar and Truman Capote Fellow for Creative Writing and Law at Yale Law School, reviews jurisprudence on bullying, and examines both the virtues and the pitfalls of treating bullying as a crime.  “Sticks and Stones” describes what parents can achieve, what schools can achieve, and what may come of the shifting power differential among parents, schools and social agencies.   She will be in conversation with a Center RAPP Coordinator, a veteran social worker stationed on a high school campus to  teach teens how to have healthy relationships.

Please join us on October 18 at the Harvard Club of NYC for breakfast and great conversation.  Purchase tickets here.

Thanks, Operation Backpack!

This week the children in the Center's emergency domestic violence shelters returned to school.  One of the consequences of homelessnes, especially homelessness caused by family violence, is the disruption of a child's education.  These children need school supplies for the upcoming year.

For over a decade, Volunteers of America's Operation Backpack has collected and distributed school supplies to these, the City's most vulnerable children.


Here at the Center, 165 children and teens received full backpacks and a big dose of confidence for their return to school.

Thank you!

Back to School

As the days shorten and the temperature drops, school days begin again.  Roads and subways are full of students and teachers.  Staples ads proclaim this “the most wonderful time of the year” - - for parents.

School is not always the safest place for a student to be.  In New York City high schools and intermediate schools, over a quarter of teen girls will be harassed, or bullied, or threatened by their dating partners.  Many thanks to the Center’s supporters and to the members of New York’s City Council that the Teen RAPP Adopt a School program will be going back to school this fall.  With workshops, counseling and leadership development, the Teen Relationship Abuse Prevention Program stops bullying and dating violence.  It works from the inside out to create schools with no tolerance for abuse.

Return to school poses extra challenges for the 150 children in the Center’s  three domestic violence emergency shelters.  Many children who witness violence at home perform badly in school; while they are away from home they worry about what’s going on and cannot concentrate.  While other young children attend school and learn to break the code for reading and arithmetic success, young children of domestic violence victims are often kept at home for protection.  At the shelters, we offer after school homework help with nutritious snacks and tutoring. You can give a young student the gift of school supplies by donating here.

Without intervention, young children who have witnessed domestic violence are two times as likely to become abusers or victims.  With your support, the Center Against Domestic Violence is building a more peaceful world – one child at a time.