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To End Domestic Violence – We Need to Focus on Educating Youth Now

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and like our allied partners, we are emphasizing the importance of recognizing dating violence among teens in our communities and schools. National statistics indicate 1 in 3 teens will experience teen dating violence; forms of abuse are emotional/verbal, technological, sexual, financial, physical and spiritual or faith-based.

Through the teen Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) we teach teens to identify signs of abuse, what a healthy relationship looks like and how to teach other teens to do the same. Do you remember what it was like to be a teen? Maybe you still are a teen. Regardless, there was no way I was telling my parents (guardians, teachers, etc.) anything personal when I was 15. The lack of trust in adults is the biggest barrier to helping teens prevent and/or escape from abuse. This is why we emphasize Peer-to-Peer education about teen dating violence.  We want teens empowering teens. We want them to know they are not alone and they can go to their peers when they are in crises.

RAPP paves the way to help teens achieve their goals, academically and personally. It gives them the tools and knowledge to help themselves and help others whom may be experiencing teen dating violence. It is my wish to see the Relationship Abuse Prevention Program in every single school, because education is key to prevention of further abuse.

Luis has directed CADV’s Department of Education & Community Services (ECS) since 1999. In that time, he has taken the lead to provide innovative nonresidential services to stop domestic violence and aid its survivors, raise community awareness about relationship abuse and let the community know about CADV’s services.

Our established Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) is in place at fifteen intermediate and high schools citywide. Combined, RAPP teaches 27,000 students a year about healthy, communicative, non-violent relationships and directly counsels over 2,500 teens, individually and in groups. In addition, RAPP coordinators reach out to teachers, parents and community members, to teach warning signs that a teen may be violent or abused.

Asking the Right Questions

This month Vice President Joe Biden addressed leaders at the World Economic Forum to discuss violence and discrimination against women. He asked these leaders to focus on cultural change within our society to end violence against women. Mr. Biden’s message is extremely important, and I am often asked how someone can help victims of domestic violence. I tell people they can help victims and survivors of domestic violence, by simply listening. This is how we all can reinforce cultural change. We need to listen to one another – listen to our peers – and listen to those affected by abuse. Above all we need to listen without judgment.

Mr. Biden commented, "When a woman is raped, when a woman is abused, the first thing other women ask is what did you do? Why were you there? What were you wearing?" he said. “Folks, all the opportunity and entrepreneurship in the world is good. But ultimately, starting in this country, we have to change the culture. And we’re not going to change that culture until not a single woman who is abused ever asks herself: 'What did I do?'"

These are not the questions we should ask or reflect on. We need to question why these implications arise in our culture, and then we need to ask if the victim is okay. We should ask why the perpetrator would commit such a heinous crime. We need to stop victim blaming, which is a huge obstacle to victims feeling safe enough to report a crime.

2015 Year Highlights

Great news for survivors of domestic violence. The Center is proud to have been a part of the fight to increase the length of stay in domestic violence shelters in New York State.

2015 was the first full year survivors could stay in shelter for up to six months, to heal from the trauma of domestic violence.

This longer stay gives survivors time to build skills they need to live independent lives and never return to abusive relationships again. We worked with the New York City Coalition of Domestic Violence Residential Providers and the New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence to bring about this change. I am honored to be a founding co-chair of the New York City Coalition and to represent the needs of the City on the State Coalition.

I wish everyone a happy and safe new year!

Best,

Judy Kahan

CEO

NASW Emerging and Mid-Career Social Work Leader Award Granted to CADV Director Luis Matos

Here at the Center we are fortunate to have Luis Matos, our Director of Education & Community Services. The National Association of Social Workers recognized Luis as a Mid-Career Exemplary Leader on December 3rd, at their 9th Annual Awards Dinner.  Luis shared this award night with other Top and Emerging Leader recipients.

Luis Matos (middle), sister – Lydia and friend – Frank.

Luis has directed CADV’s Department of Education & Community Services (ECS) since 1999. In that time, he has taken the lead to provide innovative nonresidential services to stop domestic violence and aid its survivors, raise community awareness about relationship abuse and let the community know about CADV’s services.

We applaud Luis for cultivating a society free from violence and abuse through education and intervention.  Since Luis has led the ECS utilization, our community-based case management services have tripled. ECS facilitates supports groups for Spanish speaking women, English speaking women and children affected by domestic violence.

Luis develops and coordinates CADV’s internal staff training and provides or trains others to provide training in the community. He is committed to developing the next generation of social workers, through supervision and mentoring.

Congratulations Luis for this well-deserved award!!

Domestic Violence Doesn't Take a Holiday

During the holiday season, reports of domestic violence incidents may vary by location, but one important fact remains the same – Domestic Violence doesn’t take a holiday. The Center Against Domestic Violence offers safety and joy to more than 60 families this holiday season. Courageous women have given up the comfort of their own homes to find safety for themselves and their children.

The holiday season is a difficult time to leave a batterer. Victims may stay in danger so their children can have a happy holiday with two parents. And, school vacation makes the logistics of leaving harder.

One of the most dangerous times for a domestic violence victim is while she is deciding to leave. Breaking free from abuse and control also means leaving her outside support system, which is never easy, but especially hard this time of year.

Click here to learn more about what it takes to leave a batterer, in an interview with The Maria Project's founder, Marcella Goheen.

Center Against Domestic Violence Hosts Domestic Violence Awareness Event

Shop Till it Stops Pop Up Event

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, on October 24, 2015, the Center Against Domestic Violence hosted Shop Till it Stops – a pop up event – to recognize victims and survivors of domestic violence. Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a time to acknowledge the courage of people who have said “no” to violence and to spread awareness about domestic violence emergency shelters and services.

The Center contacted local community establishments to bring awareness of domestic violence to the Brooklyn community. Shop Till It Stops was held at The Living Gallery – an art gallery known for bringing diverse groups of people together and encouraging communication through the arts - in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Guests encountered a relaxed, fun shopping experience while learning about domestic violence through art and literature and chatting with CADV staff.  We were able to raise $3,000 in proceeds for this event. 

Whatever was not sold the day of the event was given to the women living in our shelters.

The event featured clothing sales from multiple participating vendors, including Eileen Fisher, Crossroads Trading Company, L.E.S amis, and donations from members of SoHo boxing gym Work Train Fight. Food was donated from Brooklyn Mac and Sahadi’s, beer was lovingly provided by Brooklyn Brewery, and art by Gwen Shockey and Sherry Tagoe. Owner of High Bridge Cold Brew, whose main mission is to employ victims of domestic violence, handed out free samples and donated $1 per every bottle sold at the event. Start-up owner of Mama D’s Tasty Treats sold her delicious Italian and zucchini bread and sweets, and also donated 25% of her proceeds to CADV. There were raffle prizes including Kerry Washington’s Purple Purse (of the Purple Purse Challenge), soap basket from Flynn & King, duvets from Remodo, gift card donated by TJ Maxx & an iced coffee basket from High Bridge Cold Coffee.

“Thank you to everyone who participated to make this happen. The support that was shown means so much to us and we can't wait to come together as a community again.”

– Judy Kahan, CEO 

Shop Till it Stops Photos

- Shop Till it Stops flyer created by artist Stephanie Haller

Work Train Fight Fights to End Domestic Violence

On October 3^rd, we kicked off Domestic Violence Awareness Month and the Purple Purse Challenge with SoHo boxing gym, Work Train Fight.  Center Against Domestic Violence staff joined Work Train Fight gym members and staff, as well as newcomers, to raise funds for the Center and spread the word against domestic violence.

WTF took participants through intensive workout classes where everyone got a shot in the ring with personal trainers.  The day was truly about embodiment of self, health and commitment to ending violence once and for all.

The event was fun, exciting and most of all, empowering. Every WTF staff member was fully invested in the event and it was obvious how passionate they were about what they do. Work Train Fight contributed to bringing our Purple Purse fundraising campaign to a total of $4,565!

WTF owner and founder, Alberto Ortiz, reached out to the Center because of his own exposure to domestic abuse growing up as a kid.  Drawing from his own experience, Alberto’s mission is to empower everyone who comes into the gym. He says, “Being “tough” is not about winning fights – being able to walk away from them shows the real strength.

"A Night on Broadway" - A Community Support Event

Wellington C. Mepham High School Skull and Bones Drama Club will be performing A Night on Broadway on Friday, September 18, 2015 at 7 PM.

Thank you so much for this great outpouring student support!!  

We are thrilled to be selected as Wellington C. Mepham High School Skull and Bones Drama Club’s charity of choice. All proceeds will go to the Center Against Domestic Violence.  Tickets can be purchased night of the event. 

The Mepham Skull and Bones Drama Club and for Thespian Troupe 7495, Mepham's chapter of the International Thespian Society recent productions include Auntie Mame, Pippin, and Into the Woods.

Join us for a night of good fun theatre. We hope to see you there!

RAPP Summer Program 2015

Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP) Peer Leaders are learning how to stop relationship abuse, volunteering at the Center's shelters and completing community service projects. In their "spare" time, the teen leaders participate in fun events, like beach trips, and museum tours at the Museum of Tolerance and LES Tenement Museum.

The students showed off their cooking expertise and expressed their culture on Multi-cultural day at the Center. Dishes ranged from Jamaican jerk chicken to Spanish empanadas to Russian baked goods.  Entertainment then ensued with students acting out skits with props given to them only moments before. It was definitely a memorable day in the midst of a great summer.

"In the RAPP program I experienced things that I would have never thought of doing. This program helped me learn how to communicate with others and broke me out of my shell. Also just the experience in being here, meeting people from different backgrounds, associating (myself) and doing activities with them made me close to each and every one of them. The RAPP program is an awesome experience. You will want to do it every year."
- Alexis R.

Thank you BMO Capital Markets – You “Wrote the Book” on Fundraising

We want to thank AALPs – the African American Latino Professionals – of BMO Capital Markets for hosting the sixth annual BMO Book Sale to support the Center's programs and services. Special thanks go out to Veronica Chin and Trena Banks for their terrific leadership. Veronica and Trena also head up the BMO children’s toy drive at Christmas.

This year’s great event supported the Center with a gift of $3,000!

Weddings That Give Back...

That is the motto of wedding planner, Amy Shackelford's, new spin on wedding planning in Brooklyn & NYC.  We are excited to share our new collaboration with Amy & A Modern Vow!

A Modern Vow will donate 5% of their proceeds to CADV. We can not express how much generosity like this, means to those affected by DV.

Click here to visit A Modern Vow

For more information about AMV contact Amy at amy@amodernvow.com

Standing Up Against DV

On behalf of the residents, students, staff, & Board of Directors, of the Center Against Domestic Violence, we want to thank everyone involved with our Stand Up Against Domestic Violence Special Spring Event! The night was a huge success largely thanks to our stimulating honoree, diligent staff, hilarious comedians, silent auction and delicious food. Due to substantial help from sponsors, general donations, guests, and silent auction bidders, CADV was able to raise over $80,000 for our youth programs! We could not have pulled this event off without the help of our supporters.

This year, we were sad to say goodbye to Stand Up honoree and CADV Chair, John L. Miscione. John has worked tirelessly for the past nine years to build an even better organization and help even more survivors and victims of domestic violence.  During his Chairmanship, the Center became a leading voice for saving the Teen Relationship Abuse Prevention Program, which provides teen dating violence prevention and intervention services on campuses teaching over 50,000 teens citywide. During John’s Chairmanship, we were able to increase the number of RAPP graduates receiving the Center’s Stuckey Family Scholarship.

As John said goodbye on Thursday night he reflected on his time as Board Chair; “Sitting on the board of the Center you ask how does this get done and then you look at Judy Kahan and the executive team at central office ... While over the years we might worry about strategy or fundraising, but we’ve never worried about our client’s needs being met. We are confident in the team we have and I thank you for how hard they work for our clients and the center”.

John will be missed, but his legacy at CADV will live on, as well as, the dedicated mission to end domestic violence.

RAPP Teaches Teens About Healthy Relationships

Ending the cycle of violence begins with education and awareness. We are proud of our role as one of the first and the largest providers of teen relationship violence prevention services in New York City. Our RAPP – Relationship Abuse Prevention Program - teaches thousands of high school students NOT ONLY what constitutes consent - but how to have a healthy relationship. In the past decade and a half, the Center has designed, developed and implemented school-based teen relationship abuse prevention programs that have reached more than a million students with the message that healthy, equal, and consensual relationships are necessary for a hopeful future.

Teenagers involved in relationship abuse have a difficult time learning academic subjects. Girls experiencing relationship abuse feel self-conscious and afraid, do not want to go to school, and find it difficult to study.

[1]  Victims of teen relationship abuse often exhibit harmful behaviors, such as using alcohol, tobacco or drugs; becoming pregnant, and attempting suicide.

[2]  Adolescents who harm their dating partners are more aggressive and more depressed than their peers.

[3] The rise of social media has only exacerbated the effects of teen relationship abuse.

In RAPP, students learn how to identify what it means to have healthy relationships. RAPP stresses the importance of setting strong boundaries, and being able to assertively say how something makes a person feel. Our students are taught abusive relationships are about power and control; and, about the different types of abuse which are emotional, verbal, and physical. They can recognize abuse within a relationship, and know what healthy relationships looks like.

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[1] Lipson, J. (Ed.). (2001). Hostile hallways: bullying, teasing and sexual harassment in school. New York: AAUW Educational Foundation.

[2]  Silverman, J. G., Raj, A., Mucci, L. A., & Hathaway, J. E.  (2001). Dating violence against adolescent girls and associated substance use, unhealthy weight control, sexual risk behavior, pregnancy and suicidality. Journal of the American Medical Association, 286(5), 572-579.

[3] Centers for Disease Control. (2012). Understanding teen dating violence fact sheet. Retrieved from www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teen_dating_violence.html.

CADV Stand Up Against DV - Join Us!

Tickets are available for our Special Spring Event. Join Us! 

Did the President’s PSA at the Grammys have the Right Message?

The message at this year’s Grammys was loud and clear – stop violence against women. We watched as President Obama made his proclamation to end violence against women, and challenged artists to encourage their supporters to do the same. The President spoke the truth, 1 in 5 women will be victims of rape or attempted rape, and 1 in 4 women will face violence or abuse at the hands of an intimate partner.  He claimed violence against women is not OK, and launched the White House #Itsonus campaign – because in fact, it is on us all to stop the violence.  

In many songs and videos, violence against women is not only condoned but celebrated.  Following the President’s speech, Target aired a 3-minute music video ad of Imagine Dragons’ “Shot” about shooting everything they love. The President’s words were addressed to an audience that included Grammy nominees, Chris Brown, and R. Kelly.  What kind of message is being sent by saying we needed to stop the violence, while rewarding those personally involved with the violence. Violence against women is celebrated in many artists’ songs and videos. Songs and videos may demonstrate violence and the degradation of women, but these albums sell millions of downloads every day. When asking these artists to help stop the violence, what are we asking them to do?  

It is time to stop violence against women, and it is time to change the stigma associated with rape and abuse. Still assault against an intimate partner is not prosecuted as harshly as assault against another associate or a stranger.  Somehow we still see domestic violence as only a family problem, but violence against women is a social and a public health issue. The President is right that in one way #Itsonus, but in another way, it is on him and on every elected official. It is on us to keep up the pressure, to make sure the Violence Against Women Act is reauthorized next year, to make sure campuses receive needed fund to keep students safe from assault, and to make sure state and local laws support adequate shelter and permanent housing for survivors of domestic violence. It IS on us – AND our elected officials – AND on popular culture heroes like musicians and athletes - to change the conversation to help eliminate violence against women.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

This month, amidst chocolate hearts, flowers and love letters, we celebrated teen dating violence awareness month with waves of awareness campaigns spreading the same message - dating violence can happen in adolescent relationships.  President Obama declared February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, proclaiming, “Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust, and equality. Our commitment to these values demands that we stand up against dating abuse and all forms of intimate partner violence. During National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, we are called to act.” It is our responsibility to speak up and stop ignoring violence that happens daily.

Adolescence is a tough time.  Bullying through the internet and social media, maintaining good grades, and participating in equal, healthy relationships can affect teenagers.  Teen dating violence happens quite frequently ; in 2011, in New York City, 10.4% of male and female high school students reported being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend/girlfriend within the past year. (NYC High School Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 2011); 1 in 3 teens is affected by teen dating violence.

Campaigns spreading teen dating violence awareness are key to its prevention and elimination.   This Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, CADV RAPP students and Coordinators, shared why teen dating violence awareness is important, through different activities. We posted photos of cutout hearts proclaiming why we support teen dating violence awareness. RAPP students came to the Center’s main office to enjoy pizza while showing off their artistic talents decorating cloth squares that were sewn together into make a giant quilt of teen dating violence awareness. In workshops around the City, RAPP students adorned post-it notes with messages about teen dating violence and why they think violence needs to stop.

While RAPP students and Coordinators campaign to end teen dating violence all year round, designating a particular month to promote awareness helps spotlight the issue.  It is life changing for so many teens to tale the lessons of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and live them all year long.  

NYC’s LINC Program Impacts DV Survivors

Message from CEO Judy Kahan

This past November the City released a new assisted housing program called Living in Communities (LINC) – a stabilized rent subsidy program for New Yorkers who are homeless, including the people we serve – domestic violence survivors. Since 2010 there has not been any funding program to assist domestic violence survivors to find housing.  Without this assistance to find and keep a new home, independent of their batterers, what is a survivor to do? Without assistance, the choice can be between being battered and being homeless.

I spoke with Ebony Williams, one of CADV’s Housing Specialists, about this new program and how LINC affects our clients.

Judy: Can you tell me what a Housing Specialist does at the Center Against Domestic Violence?

Ebony: We work with families staying at our shelters to find them permanent housing before their time spent at the shelter reaches 180 days. During their stay we apply through HRA for assisted housing, and hopefully help them acquire permanent housing.  While trying to find them permanent housing, we also educate and counsel families about financial independence.

Judy: Is it common to find housing? What happens if an apartment has not been secured?

Ebony: We do as much as we can to get families approved for housing: we help them find apartments; and work together to fill out the application packets, lease terms, and more. Sadly, with limited funds, some resistance from property owners, and not a lot of available rental space, some people will face homelessness.  If a family does not have a housing placement, we apply to have the families time at our shelter extended, but this is not always granted.

Judy: Can you give us an example of someone the Center helped find housing?

Ebony: Suzanna and her family were recently living in our shelter for four months.....

Continue Reading HERE

For more information about the LINC program, please visit NYC.gov.

N-0 Housing Priority Status Legislation Proposed to NYCHA

New York, NY - December 15, 2014

The Center Against Domestic Violence joined fellow domestic violence supporters on the steps of city hall on December 15, 2014 to show support for Senator Jeff Klein and Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda’s announcement of the new proposed legislation to grant equal housing priority for victims of domestic violence. The new legislation will require N-0 equal housing priority for women residing in HRA domestic violence shelters.

It currently stands, that victims of domestic violence and intimidated witnesses do not have the same priority status as other homeless. Although there is a housing priority for victims of domestic violence and intimidated witnesses, it is not as high a priority as that given to homeless families. Even though families residing in domestic violence shelters are homeless, they are not eligible for the same homeless priority housing.

That is why Senator Klein is proposing to introduce this legislation to grant homeless domestic violence victims same equal housing preference as other homeless. As Senator Klein stated, “Domestic violence victims are being discriminated against within the homeless shelter program. The fact that they aren't given the same preference - is ridiculous.” This will ease the transition for victims from domestic violence shelters, to regular housing. It will also help prevent victims from returning to their batterer, for fear of being completely homeless.

Judith Kahan, CEO of the Center Against Domestic Violence and founding co-chair of New York City’s Coalition of Domestic Violence Residential Service Providers, “wants NYCHA to open their doors to all battered women with the same housing preference as other homeless people. We urge the legislature to pass Sen. Klein’s bill.”

35 years ago, the Center Against Domestic Violence was the first organization to work with NYCHA on making battered women a priority for public housing. It was of vital importance that women affected by domestic violence were granted equal access to housing from NYCHA once they leave the shelter. We have continued to fight for equal preference housing over these past 35 years; however, equal access priority has changed face within legislation throughout the years.

Read alternative media coverage Here >>

The bill will be introduced in January. Please check back later for further information.

Bronxnet Interview with RAPP Coordinator Debra Hayes

Watch Saint Catherine Academy student interview CADV Relationship Abuse Prevention Program coordinator, Debra Hayes, on what an abusive relationship is and what to do if you are in one.

Debra has been working in the field of preventative violence for 12 years. She currently works with students as a RAPP coordinator, helping teens prevent and end violence.

Watch HERE>>