Luz's Story has a Happy Ending

In this season of hope and giving, I am cheered by the stories of the people we serve.  People – usually parents and usually women – come to the Center Against Domestic Violence for help at the lowest point of their lives.  They only reach out when domestic violence has threatened their lives or the lives of their children.  They leave the Center with renewed joy, skills and one step closer to a bright future.

The other day I received a gift from one of our longstanding Tuesday Morning Support Group members, a hand wrapped pen that said “Center Against DV”.  Our Spanish speaking Tuesday group has been meeting for over ten years with a regular attendance of 20 or so women.  We have seen support group infants grow up and become school aged and support group school aged children enter high school.  The Center is committed to be there as long as we are needed.

Luz* was referred to our support group by her friend Gloria*.  Since leaving her abusive boyfriend several years ago, Gloria had been coming to group.  Many of the issues participants face have as much to do with immigration as with the abuse they suffered.  The Center helped Gloria with her immigration problems, and now Gloria was helping her friend Luz.

When Luz’s husband sent for her and their two children to come join him in the United States, it seemed like a dream.  It was so difficult in Mexico, even with the remittances Miguel* sent every month.

The family settled in Sunset Park, and from the outside they seemed happy.  What no one in their church or the children’s school knew was that every night Miguel would abuse Luz.  First the abuse was verbal and emotional – he constantly told her she was worthless.  Then when she became pregnant, the abuse became sexual and physical.

Luz put up with Miguel for the sake of the children, but then, one night while the children were getting ready for bed, Luz caught Miguel peeping at their 12 year old daughter Susana* getting undressed.  When she confronted him, he beat her senseless and left the house.  Luz called the police and Miguel was arrested.

The Center Against Domestic Violence Crime Victims Program is helping Luz and the children rebuild their lives.  The children are in counseling and we have helped Luz and the two older children successfully apply for visas.

Now Luz and the children live together safely in Brooklyn.  Luz makes ends meet by creating and selling handcrafts.  She created my Center Against DV pen as her way of saying “thanks”.

I say “thanks”, as well.  Thanks to all of you for supporting the Center Against Domestic Violence as we change and grow to fulfill our mission – ending domestic violence in our communities.  Through prevention, intervention and education, the Center is working to create a world without violence.

Please help us end domestic violence by supporting our work today.

Thank you and happy holidays.

-- Judith Kahan, CEO

* All names changed to protect identities.

Giving Tuesday - November 27th, 2012

This year, CADV will be participating in a brand new campaign, #GivingTuesday. This event calls for folks around the nation to donate a specific item or need to a charity on the Tuesday following Thanksgiving. We are asking our supporters to donate gift cards so parents we shelter can purchase holiday presents for their children. The holidays are a hard time for many people, especially the families living in our shelters who are dealing with the trauma of domestic violence and the hardship of starting a new life.  We’re asking you to help ease the financial burden of buying gifts so that survivors of domestic violence can celebrate this December!

Visit CADV’s #GivingTuesday Page.

Don’t forget to donate on Tuesday November 27th!!!

Fall Breakfast 2012: Preventing College Dating and Sexual Violence

The Center Against Domestic Violence Presents

Building Healthy Relationships: Preventing Sexual Assault & Dating Violence on Campus

Audrey Meredith & Kyle Rosenbaum – Event Co-Chairs

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

8:00 am- 9:30 am

The Harvard Club

35 West 44th Street, NY

Join us for breakfast.

Hear from advocates dedicated to stopping sexual assault, harassment and dating violence on campus.  

Keynote Speaker 

Jovan Martinez

Former RAPP Peer Leader

Deborah M. Stuckey Family Scholarship Recipient

Junior -Virginia Commonwealth University

Moderator

Susan Xenarios

Director

St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Crime Victims Treatment Program

Panelists

Rhiannon Auriemma

Student Peer Health Advocate

The New School

Guarav Jashani

Coordinator, Men’s Peer Education Program

Columbia University

Emily May

Executive Director

Hollaback!

The Joy of Safety

We were delighted to receive this thank you letter. Center Against Domestic Violence staff strive each and every day to make sure this story the story everyone leaving our shelters can tell.

From activities like Thanksgiving dinners to quality childcare to holiday celebrations, we make residents feel at home at our shelters while equipping them with the tools they need to get back on their feet and find long-term housing and a new life.  All of our work is made possible by people like you who choose each year to support the Center so that domestic violence survivors like Ms. M. and her family can feel joy again.

Here is Ms. M.’s letter –

“I would like to thank all of you.

“Unfortunately my family has been to a lot of domestic violence shelters since 2005.  We honestly were not happy to return this time.  But the day when we walked through these doors, my children and I cried tears of relief and joy.  We actually were in a place that was immaculate.  We couldn’t believe this was a shelter!  And the kids were overjoyed they had TV to watch.  Until today, when we are only days away from opening a new door to a place called home, we are grateful for Women’s Second Start.

“I realize – wow, this place is heaven-sent, with real angels!  All of you have opened your hearts and cared unconditionally for each of us.  There has never been a time when anyone has closed a door or refused to help us.  This truly has been a great experience for me and my children.

“I was very worried about Christmas since I had hardly any money and I couldn’t buy my kids gifts.  On Christmas Eve, my son Wilfredo told me, ‘Mommy, this has been the best Christmas ever!’  I almost fell to the floor! Could this be my Mr. Materialistic-Thirteen-Year-Old – the boy with so much anger from witnessing too much?  Thank you all so very much for putting joy back in our lives!”  From Ms. M. for Tiffany, David and Wilfredo

The shelter Ms. M., Tiffany, David and Wilfredo walked into, Women’s Second Start, is located in northern Manhattan.  Every year, the individualized services provided by Women’s Second Start give more than a hundred women and three hundred children the tools they need to break the pattern of domestic violence and start life anew – with joy.

To help more people like the M family find safety and joy, click here to support the work of the Center.

We Rally At City Hall To Save RAPP!!!

Judy and The Kids of RAPP Rally On the Steps of City Hall!  Hear What They Have to Say and Add Your Voice!!!!!!

On May 12, 2010 Judith Kahan, Chief Executive Officer of the Center Against Domestic Violence-New York gathered with some of the kids from RAPP on the steps of City Hall.  The purpose was to be loud enough so that Mayor Bloomberg hears how important saving RAPP is to the youth of the City of New York.

Take a minute and listen to the passion in their voices:






You too can add your voice to those you just heard.  We need you to write to Mayor Bloomberg ASAP  at http://www.nyc.gov/html/mail/html/mayor.html to ask him to restore Teen RAPP to the Executive Budget.  Tell him to watch the video and hear for himself the voices of the children that RAPP has affected.

You can also help in our fight to save RAPP by donating what you can so that we can make sure that the words of these children are heard by as many people as possible.  We make it easy to donate online - just click here amd give what you can.

Help spread the word by forwarding the link to the YouTube video to as many people as possible!

Welcome to The Center Against Domestic Violence Blog!


We need your help!

RAPP, our Teen Relationship Relationship Abuse Prevention Program is in jeopardy because it's funding has been removed entirely from Mayor Bloomberg's preliminary budget!

RAPP serves over 50,000 teens in 5 middle schools and 57 high schools all acrosee New York City. It teaches teens how to have healthy relationships, how to recognize abuse in a relationship, and how to help themselves as well as others that they may know who are already involved in an abusive relationship.

RAPP accomplishes this objective through the use of Social Workers and Peer Leaders to reach out to teenagers through education and open discussion. This model program has received nationwide recognition and has shown itself over and over to be working!

Don't take my word for it; read a little bit about Jeanette and decide for yourself!

The Bronx Theatre High School social worker referred Jeanette to RAPP in April 2008. Beautiful and sad, Jeanette’s troubled relationship was affecting all the aspects of her life. She was cutting school, her health was suffering and she dropped out of her play. This is Jeanette’s story.

My boyfriend and I were so happy and in love until I cheated. After he found out, he was angry. I felt so guilty that I let him treat me badly. I felt worse and worse. I used to be a good student. Then it was all I could do to come to school.
I started to see Ms. Lauren, the RAPP Coordinator at my school, for counseling. We talked about teen relationship abuse. I saw that what Jamal was doing was abuse, and even if I made a big mistake, I deserved to be treated with respect.
Toward the end of my junior year, I applied to be in the RAPP Summer Program to become a Peer Leader. I loved it. Being a Peer Leader was my best summer job. I felt like a new person. I felt like a leader. My old self confidence was coming back. The end of the summer was also the end of Jamal and me. I entered my senior year and I needed to focus on taking care of myself. RAPP totally saved me from that unhealthy relationship.
I still see Ms. Lauren every week for individual counseling. She wrote me a recommendation for Howard University where I hope to be accepted to study psychology so I can help other people the way RAPP helped me.

Ready to help? This is what we need you to do!
Contact Mayor Bloomberg by clicking here and urge him to restore Teen RAPP to the Executive Budget! !!!!

Please get the word out to as many people as you can through you Twitter, Facebook, or MySpace accounts!

You can also assist us by donating whatever amount you can to assist us in stopping relationship violence by clicking here for our online donation page or mail your donation to:

Development Office
Center Against Domestic Violence
25 Chapel Street, Suite 904
Brooklyn, NY 11201
Any amount is appreciated!!